Dealing with Change
or: Some numbers and the lessons I've learned from them.
Throughout my seventeen years of life, I have moved eleven times. The last time was seventeen days ago. To most people, these numbers are staggering. To me, it's life.
I’d like to make it clear that these moves weren’t over a long distance. Only two were to different states; the rest even closer.
Whether near or far, I’ve learned lessons every time my family relocates. Below are a few of them, no cardboard boxes required.
Changes Vary in Length
Moving happens quickly. Sure, selling and buying takes time. Packing and unpacking takes time. Organizing your cabinets, hanging up photos, learning the route to the bathroom without stubbing your toe in the middle of the night… these take time.
But moving itself happens quickly.
One morning: same home. Next morning: new home.
To me, moving has usually been a bad change, so I saw it like this:
One morning: good life. Next morning: bad life.
Bad changes happen quickly, and this makes them easy to notice.
It’s harder to see the good change. I remember hating a new home, hating the new people around me, hating the new mountains looming above.
Over time, I found moments of happiness. As these moments grew, the hate shrunk. Eventually, I looked around and realized that I didn’t hate it anymore, but it took a long time for that.
Some changes are like jumping off a cliff: sudden and bad. Some changes are like hiking up a mountain: challenging, but good, and worth the view at the top. It’s only when you get there that you see how beautiful life is.
Let Go
Don’t hold on to unnecessary things.
The photo you see above depicts some items I got rid of in the latest move. None of them served a purpose, so they were given away or discarded.
You lose lots of friends when you move, but moving isn't a good reason for that. With modern technology, you can talk to someone on the other side of the world—if you really want to. Moving shows you which friends don't care enough to stay in touch.
Now, here’s the hard part: Letting go isn’t just advice for moving. If the stuff that fills your life is meaningless, get rid of it. Sometimes, you want to hold on to things without realizing how much clutter they create.
If some of the people around you don’t care about your friendship, it’s okay to let go of it. You can still talk to those people, you can still be friendly. I’m not saying they’re awful people; I’m saying they have other, closer friends. It hurts, but it’s better to let go.
Treasure the Treasures
Yes, you need to get rid of meaningless things that clutter up your life. At the same time, the objects we own have value. If something serves a function, keep it. If certain trinkets remind you of special memories, hold on to them. Don't keep things for no reason, but don't get rid of things for no reason either.
Similarly, you may get out of touch with someone who doesn't care. But some people will stay with you no matter what, and these are the sorts of friends we often take for granted. We forget how faithful and steadfast they are. Like the heading says, treasure these treasures.